Friday, 17 May 2013

Feeling anxious about Wednesday!

So, I am sat on the internet doing some research in to Kidneys, donations, dialysis and all the other crap that goes along with this stupid disease! Don't get me wrong, I am not the sort of person who looks on the internet and starts to go in to a blind panic, I just like to know what is going on and being said, so when the doctors and nurses start telling me things, I am not sat there scratching my head wondering why they are talking a foreign language!

I know for definite that I will be having a kidney transplant, that is a certainty. However, how the transplant comes about is not a certainty. My Dad has very kindly offered to be tested to see if he is a suitable match to be a living donor. The only issue is, we are not the same blood group! So if my Dad is a tissue match, it would be a blood group incompatible kidney transplant. If my Dad is not a match then the next step could possibly be the paired-donation scheme.

If that is not an option then the next stage would be when I am almost at the point of needing dialysis, then I would go on the NHS kidney transplant waiting list.

There are so many things that worry me about the whole process. Mainly the immunosuppressants and the increased of infections. I have quite a few questions written down to ask the nurse on Wednesday about it all.

I think I just hate the waiting, knowing something is going to happen, but not knowing when. Also not knowing 100% if I will need dialysis or whether I can get a donation before I reach that stage. Everything is so vague, which I hate.

I am the sort of person who has to know everything about what is going on! When Mark and I had a day in London for his birthday I had meticulously planned every little detail, where we were going, how we would get there, how long it would take... I even looked up on Google maps street view so I knew exactly how to get to a restaurant and noted down some shops so as we passed them I checked them off and knew I was on the right track!! So all this Maybe this, could be that is sheer hell to me!

I feel like someone has told me make my way to Scotland, then shoved me out the door without a car or map! I have no clue how I will get there, just that I will!

Hopefully things might be made a little clearer at my appointment on Wednesday, if I can put plans in place for each eventuality I will feel a little bit more secure in knowing what will happen for each situation.

Ugh, hurry up Wednesday, I need to know!


  1. Hope it goes well hun. Xxx I'm on immune suppressants and do get infections more than most but I wouldn't say they have ruined my life. Xxxso try notto worry. X

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